Is time to put a stop...maybe?

久不久打开blog看看，发现写的大多数是不快乐的， 都是。。。

好像突然觉悟到什么了

。。。

其实自己是清楚的

其实也不知道在拖什么

没有勇气啊

#5248天  

我希望我会幸福

累

不想见人 不想找人哭诉 想痛快的哭出来 还好我还有这里
不知道该怎么做 只想静一静 一个人发呆
反复问自己同样的问题 可是还没有找到答案
怎么办…
我不想再装作若无其事 不在意 很随和
我其实很在意 我为了成为你想要的理想女友
看看我变成了什么样子
终究还是爆发了 这次我抚心自问 我不过分
也是到了一个点了 何必呢
原谅这一次，造就了更过分的下一次
我这是何苦呢我 圣人吗
发现原来放开我还来的更轻松 释怀了
失去了个人，反倒找回了自己
反正他人在心不在
可是每当想到 14 年啊 说放下谈何容易
不放，我还是来回在这里
放手可能会有别的幸福

今天真是够累的一天
只睡了一小时 上班地铁故障 6点半 用了两小时才搭了四站
还有16站 下车转叫Grab，没有人载
还好到了公司 有工作来霸占思绪 暂时忘掉伤心

明天 后天 大后天我要怎么办

Happy birthday to me

竟然在这个时候在想我未来的路要怎样走

要疯了 

加油

谢谢你们陪我一起

真心开心！

体谅

又是难眠的一夜

女孩看着男孩快乐 她也会快乐

在一起后 女孩发现 要当他的女孩 要接受不一般的条件 

一个 女孩们不怎么能接受的 性格

就是男孩和一些女孩们较亲密的关系

男孩不觉得有问题 就认为是一般的举动

忽略了女孩的感受 

另一个理解就是 他也没在在乎她了

或以为她能接受 

在他心里 她是不一般的小气

慢慢的 女孩不快乐了

但依然快乐着他的快乐 伤心着他的伤心

女孩告诉自己 记住这一切

哪怕哪天撑不住了 

就死了心吧

这些会帮助你 推你一把 铁了心离去的

傻子 爱是无条件付出是没错

可是不要明知还会伤心下去

还要奋身

虽然不知以后会怎样

会不会遇到你爱又爱你的人

但眼前肯定知道的是 你不幸福

你不快乐

家家酒

总要有事情发生后，这问题真的会出现在我脑海里，不停地问自己，直到累了/睡了/忘记了，然后下次又有类似事情发生，又记起来了
而近期更是发生得频密了

“我们是真的爱吗 你想问你自己吗”

两个人的爱情，只有两个人知道，其他人看到的，不是事情的全部

自己经历的，感受只有自己懂
我也不懂是在逃避，还是想再试一试
心底里其实多少也清楚，他爱不爱你

每次难受时，就一直告诉自己，再忍一忍啦，可能是个误会叻
如果真的是误会，这段走了那么久的感情不就很不值得？
“你有问对方吗？”
“要谈的”

想说：如果对方都不觉得这有问题，那根本不值一提
提来也是多余的
“微笑久了也会累吧”

很想哪一次有那样的勇气，下定决心结束吧
可是“不舍”都战胜“勇气”
也怕，幸福走了再也找不回来了
要是想家家酒，讲好了要忘就忘，那该有多好啊

爱情学问真大
每个年龄层都有不同的难关
到了这个年龄，顾虑的东西比early 20s不一样了
看看你的未来，和现在的你，是你要的吗？你能达到未来你想要的生活吗？

我不是指金钱
而是：好男友不一定是好丈夫
懂吗 反正自己懂就好
责任这东西，不是每个人都懂几时应该开始扛，扛得住吗又是另一门学问了

常听说 爱情和面包这问题
我们没有面包 努力着 可以的不是问题
只要两人一起努力
可是在没有爱情的基础下 要怎么继续呢
讽刺的说 事实是 我连问这个问题的资格都没有

是在一起太久吗？
是我丑吗？
接踵而来的事情都在告诉我  不爱了 所以不在意了  忽略了

有多久没有一起去走走 看看 谈谈
很久
我试着安排 被拒绝
我本以为是因为经济问题 没时间
所以盼到了优惠价 也有几天连假
伤心的是  当你跟我提起要和别人去旅行  我才彻底领悟这残忍的事实
事实是 不是没钱没时间 是你不重要好吗  傻子
我是不是该检讨 是我太粘人了吗？
控制欲太过了？有吗？我没有在你和朋友外出时找你啊
我有阻止你社交吗？有 当太频密的时候 伤身 是真的
我有限制什么无厘头的要求吗？
我不是那种每天要简讯什么的
我问了自己好多好多次 有吗？是吗？
如果是那该有多好啊！至少我可以改进啊
后来找到了事实  是我以变成了他的无所谓

从以前的牵手过马路 还有你都会确定我走里面你走外面
到现在我领着沉重的袋子而你已走到马路对岸
其实我知道的  怎么没勇气面对呢
要拖到几时呢

我该怎么办呢
你还爱他吗？爱啊 可是难受
那他爱你吗？我只能说 爱但不多
那你该和他谈谈 说出你的感受
我不懂该怎么开口 毕竟不是吵了架
我想继续吗？你要继续难受吗？你若离开，你会开心吗
我不知道  我真的不知道我应该怎样
“再想想吧”
就这样 结束每次的疑问 “我们  是真的爱吗 你想问你自己吗”



这首歌完全诠释我的感受

Wuah

I would name this post title as 'wuah' because I have been abandoned this blog more than a year! Since December 2014...

Hmm... Last post I was saying that I worked in Fonterra for 1 year and 9 months and, to date, it's been 3 full years! From an account exec to this stage, went through a lot of challenging and tough periods... Thanks god I always has a good guider that lead me all the way to date. Always support me during difficult times and giving me real lots of opportunities to grow... Stepping into new role now and still at learning stage or I would call this stage as kindergarten stage... Teehee but nvm soon or later I will master it... 

To improve and grow yourself, you must always step out from your comfort zone and never afraid of new things coming to you... Yeah a good phrase that always keep in my mind... Keep going YYL aza aza fighting!

Erm cannot remember when was this, around August 2015 I guess, travelled to Krabi with family.

Sisters fight! Lol

Tiger temple in Krabi...1260 steps of staircases!

My beloved pet, Mini Yong the mini poodle :)

Sis birthday + engagement day

So erm I dropped my iPhone 4 which with me for about 4 years and screen got cracked, heartbroken. It costs me almost 300 to replace the screen so I decided to change. Ah can hear my purse playing the lyrics of Leona Lewis "Bleeding Love" song... Wasn't plan to change new phone as it is costly for me.

Almost the same month I bought, oh no correction, we (siblings) bought new phone to the naughty dad... 看他开心的样子什么都值得了 :')

Epic expression that I will never forget in my life

One day trip to Kuala Selangor

Family portrait

Er u know girl and selfie is always link together. Yeah current look at age 25, with make up. So imagine how I look like without make up 👻 acne scars, pale face and small eyes. Don't care la, am lazy to make up and also cleanup.

Ou yea Taiwan trip at the end of Dec15.

Taken at 清境农场

Er otw to 九份

渔人码头

清境

And Jan16 ah Yin big day! 

Woohoo! All dressed in costumes. So happening! 

Everyone made their efforts to find costumes made the wedding so uniques and fun! 

I should stop here as for now because it's late and shall continue with new post in next couple of days. Goodnight

2014..Challenging Year!

Woahhh...It has been a year plus I didn't update my blog...

So the first post to this blog might be the last post for this year wth...

Basically this post I will summarize what I have done throughout the year. In a post =S

Let's see when I've got to the previous post...

WOW! Last post was saying I joined new company, Fonterra Brands!

Recalculate and now I have been working in this company for 1 year and 9 months! 

Time flies, no doubt...Never been realising that I have been working here more than 1 year, of course I enjoy my life and this may be also one of the factor that I didn't realise time passed!

I have to say thanks to my colleagues, of course my bosses who made a lot of guidance throughout this period... I've grown so much, and much to grow...Sincerely thanks for giving me so many opportunities =) 

Erm suppose the photos I have selected below is in timeline sequence but they got messed up when I pulled them here...I am kinda lazy to rearrange too so...aiya cincai la...

Attended Gigi wedding dinner, in Bentong 29/11/14. Ex-colleague aka "lung-mate" Ah Chan

Erk Ehm Ehm...Have to write a bit about this photo with Mr Lee.

Have to heartfelt appreciate thanks to Mr Lee for being accompanied me to attend this wedding dinner, being my driver drove all the way to Bentong and back to Subang after the dinner..He was having headache and running nose that day. I love you baby.

This was taken at Janda Baik, not sure is under Bukit Tinggi or Bentong district?

A place where you can spend with family, the activities are suitable for both adults and kids :)

The place we were staying is oh god I forgot...

Ok browsed the Internet and I got it back

Chantella Janda Baik Resort

They have a self built fish pond where you can fishing there =)

As you can see from the picture above, how much the love birds enjoyed their time spent during the weekend =)

And this, the most tiring but worth playing game, paint ball!

Initially I planned not to play this as part of the reason is am afraid of being shot!

No need to try but I heard from people played with this game, telling me that how challenging and painful after got shot! The bruise will stay for days!

Seeing many people joined so I joined too...

Look for this sign board if you are interested. They have two plants there, and the one we played is the bigger plant. They charged RM55 per person at normal rate. We have over 20 people so we negotiated to RM 40 only.

Mr Lee enjoyed fishing here...hmm, cute round face...haha

61 days to 10 years anniversary!

We had been through ups and downs...

We are getting know each other better day by day...

Not getting bored/ tired but always looking forward for the next date like we were having during the first few years...

All we need now is to fight and accelerate our careers to the next higher level,

achieve our dreams! Eat, sleep, travel. LOL 

Okay, suppose this is the first photo should show at the beginning of this post! captured in last year X'mas gathering in Pavilion, KL. Miss you, it's precious for me because it's difficult to meet you all!

17th March, Koh Lipe, Thailand

No edit!

I still find this is the best caption for the above pic: 死佬，走了，还看?!

June 2014, Mr Lee birthday

Where his 牛扒配红酒 dream came true~

Sorry forgot the date of this event, gathering with BFE gang (Bachelor of Financial Engineering)

entering MMU batch 2008

Patterns with aches posts. This is headache

And toothache WTH

Scent of tradition - the art of hand painting called "inai"

Did this at a stall by Gurney Drive in Penang

Woo, he must have living a good life now, eating good, sleeping tight and tu dia double chin!

This Chatime I found it's unique because it is attached to a hotel, Container Hotel!

The environment is peace and calm, unlike those in shopping mall/ hot tourism spot.

Ta-daa! My first bonus, I meant performance bonus. Good to know that you are still able to get your STI/ CB although you've resigned in this company. True, because you earned it, you deserved it!

Btw, I am still working here, don't  get confuse. Just that my boss was quite surprising after knowing that this was my first STI and he explained that to me.

So I keep all the money and only spent around RM 200.00 to do a facial massage at Herbaline.

I have many to do with my bonus until nothing much I can do to compensate myself.

Debts, oh commitmentssssss 

This guy entered into a female washroom and not even realizing about that!

Gotcha!

See, the photos sequences were messed up. Don't care!

The wound last until today, 2 weeks already. Omg, no lie, it's really painful

The enemies were bad, before the game start, marshal already briefed us and repeated few times that when people raise both their hands (eg surrender or pause game) or do not fire when the distance is less than 5 meters, they still shot at you! You will not know how painful it is until you feel yourself.

Yea and thanks to the anonymous that shot my underarm...The thinnest skin of the body...

You can be the best shooter no doubt, anonymous!

That's it. Took me about an hour to do this post.

Year end is approaching, tee-hee for the first time I have 6 days leave to clear by this year

Yet to have any plan. Rest maybe, go back to my hometown or meet up with friends!

Wishing you Merry Christmas in advance and Happy New Year!